According to psychology, a highly emotional or emotionally intelligent individual is someone who processes information deeper, than others. 

In our fast-paced world of instant communication, fast food, and fast love, emotional intelligence can seem almost countercultural. Awareness, reflection, and practice take time.

Over the years, I have observed that children and animals are naturally drawn to highly emotional individuals. And if a parent is that kind of person, the likelihood that you will be as well—provided you build a healthy relationship with them—is high. 

So what is a healthy relationship? To me, it is the ability to build common ground where one can express oneself freely, without fear, regardless of the subject. A space where disagreements, arguments, and differing opinions are seen as opportunities for growth—ways to open the mind, embrace differences, and become more tolerant.

Emotionally intelligent people also share a common trait: curiosity. A sane curiosity to understand how things work. How are you different from me, and how can we find unity within those differences? They are grounded. And the more they suffer, the kinder they become—because suffering has humbled them. However, do not mistake their kindness for naïveté.

Why today’s dating culture doesn’t work for highly emotional individuals

In a dating world that relies on superficial connections—looks, food preferences, and small talk—a highly emotional individual will quickly feel emptiness rather than fulfillment. They understand that life cannot be summarized by a handful of photos and a profile filled with prompts.

It’s like offering tofu to someone who loves meat, if you’ll allow the metaphor (no offense to vegetarians).

Now, don’t get me wrong—highly emotional individuals can master the skill of small talk, but it is rarely their preference. Take the question, “How’s the weather?” It doesn’t connect to anything that truly matters.

Small talk and dating apps thrive on exchange, while highly emotional individuals long for resonance.

The openness of highly emotional individuals may backfire in today’s dating world

As fake “matches” accumulate, a highly emotional individual eventually learns that it may not be safe to open up. Others can take advantage of their depth, manipulating their vulnerabilities—especially during difficult moments—when the interest is often limited to quick sex, quick connection, and a quick move on to the next match. 

Yet, building a real and deep relationship depends precisely on showing vulnerability, accepting limitations, and taking the time to communicate meaningfully. 

A digital profile is already biased: people are judged on appearance and curated interests. A dominant or manipulative dater can easily mirror those interests, fabricate compatibility, and move on once they’ve gotten what they wanted—the reward being the sense of having “won” you.

Technology has also made it easier than ever to normalize avoidant behavior. Blocking, disappearing, or claiming not to have seen messages, calls, or emails because one is “busy” replaces the simple act of sitting down and talking things through.

A few don’ts if you want dating a highly emotional individual to last

If a highly emotional individual suddenly cries in front of you, do not mistake it for weakness. Crying is a healthy emotional response to difficulty and a natural way to release powerful emotions. It happens because they care—and because they know how to sit with those emotions. If you respond to their vulnerability with harshness, you will wound them deeply.

Do not ever ghost a highly emotional individual—or anyone, for that matter. No one is easy, and no one is perfect. Ghosting someone without explanation is a failure of humanity. If you are not ready for honesty or for the disruption that any meaningful relationship brings to daily life, then do not get involved in the first place.

Do not second-guess or make assumptions. Some traumas run so deep and are so painful that they are rarely—if ever—shared. This is often out of fear of judgment or fear of losing control, especially when it has taken everything for someone to stand on their own two feet again after losing essential pillars in their life.

If you want everything your way, chances are you will be disappointed. A real relationship requires compromise and day-to-day commitment. It is a conscious decision, knowing that each person in the relationship will eventually make mistakes—and that nothing is entirely black or white.

Finally, if a highly emotional individual sincerely asks for your help—especially if they have helped you in the past—do not ignore it. Asking for help in moments of loneliness is not a weakness; it is a sign of self-awareness.

Of course, none of the above is as easy as it may be written. That is one of the downsides of being a highly emotional individual or an overthinker: some experiences cannot be put into words, nor can they be analyzed through data.

A human being is more than words, and more than data.